I began struggling with an eating disorder when I was 12 years old, but didn?t seek treatment until I was 19. Seven years is a long time to suffer in silence, but the truth was that I didn?t think I had a real problem. In retrospect, I see I was kind of like a frog in a boiling pot. Being sick became the new norm, and as the illness progressed I was unable to recognize its increased severity.
Eating disorders are biologically based mental illnesses that encompass so much more than image, but our culture certainly does nothing to help the situation. The reality is that we live in a society that constantly reinforces the idea that ultra-thinness, unnecessary weight-loss, clean eating, and fucking fit tea wraps (looking at you, Kylie Jenner) are positive, healthy things. So for years, I thought my behavior was normal, if not revered. I had lost a significant amount of weight, but because I didn?t think I looked sick, I was convinced I was fine?or at least not in any, or enough danger to stop. But anyone who has firsthand experience with an eating disorder will tell you that ?enough? never comes. It wasn?t until my junior year in college when I started experiencing medical complications and realized I still couldn?t stop that I knew I had a problem, and by that point it was almost too late. My heart rate dipped into the low 30s, putting me, at the age of 19, at high risk for a heart attack. Now I know this is something that would warrant admission to the nearest ICU by any phys...